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Penn fencing's Chloe Daniel finishes atop the Ivy League in her debut season

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Finishing at the top of the Ivy League as a freshman tends to surprise people.

Chloe Daniel even surprised herself.

The freshman fencer walked away from the Ivy League Tournament with the individual women’s epee title, defeating 12 opponents over the weekend and earning her a first team All-Ivy designation.

“I definitely surprised myself. I went into Ivies thinking I was just going to fence and see what happens. I focused on fencing for the women’s team. It didn’t even come to mind until after the first day when I saw that I was first on the results,” Daniel said.

Clocking the best record among all of the women’s epee fencers in the Ivy League is no small feat, especially considering the level of competition across the board. Princeton’s program is ranked No. 1 in the country, andaised Bulgaria captain Ivelin Popov for standing up to his own supporters during England’s 6-0 win on Monday.Popov called for fans in Sofia to stop directing racist chants towards the visitors, which caused the game to be stopped twice.”Not an easy s Columbia is not far behind at No. 2. It was Daniel’s contributions on epee, alongside fellow All-Ivy named teammate freshman Jessica Liang, that helped the Red and Blue topple the Tigers. Similarly, the Quakers were just one point shy of beating the Lions.

The contributions of the , led by Daniel and Liang, were fundamental in securing the overall team finish, tying with Princeton for second place, just behind Columbia.

“Columbia, Princeton, and Harvard have a ton of women’s epee fencers who have been on the women’s junior and national teams,” coach Andy Ma said. “If you’re smart, change quickly, and try to know your opponent well so that you play to your strengths and avoid your weaknesses, you can defeat junior and senior members. If you’re not careful you can lose to people behind you.”

Daniel, a Sierra Madre, Calif. native, has been fencing since she was nine years old. Her home club, Fortune Fencing, has sent numerous athletes to compete at top Division I fencing programs across the country. It was there where she was mentored under her longtime coach, Elsayed Emara. An Egyptian fencing national team athlete himself, Emara coached Daniel for the majority of her youth career, through extensive international competitions.

“I’ve been doing this for 25 years, and I’ve seen a lot. We see some kids that show they have incredible potential in the sport of fencing the first day. Chloe was one of those. When I started working with her, you could tell she was quiet, but she listened and applied everything that coaches told her,” Emara said.

Over her time at Fortune, Chloe’s talents as a junior fencer brought her countless opportunities to compete nationally and internationally.

“I have seen a lot of the U.S — really random places. Through international tournaments I’ve also seen random European countries as well. It’s been really cool to travel and see other parts of the world that I wouldn’t otherwise see or think about. That’s something I really appreciate from fencing,” Daniel said.

The freshman has had no shortage of competitions around the world. At the top of her list of accomplishments as a junior fencer was her Junior National Cadet team qualification, a feat accredited to only the top-3 ranked juniors in the counentre-half has yet to feature for Arsenal since joining on loan from Flamengo last month.And Arteta will only play Mari once he is ready.Speaking at the club’s warm-weather training camp in Dubai, Arteta said: “With Pablo a little bit more than Cedritry. To reach such a ranking, Daniel had to place well at a variety of international competiHyypia won 10 trophies in his decade at Anfield, including the Champions League, the UEFA Cup and two FA Cups and was captain until Gerard Houllier made Steven Gerrard skipper, at just 23, in 2003.The Finn told the Mirror: “You don’t need the armbations.

In 2016, Daniel competed at the USA Fencing Junior Olympics and recorded an impressive seventh-place finish. She’s traveled to compete across Europe from Finland to Bulgaria, where the Cadet World Fencing Championships were held in April of 2017.

After achieving great successes on the international circuit, the freshman has clearly adapted well to the collegiate fencing circuit. While junior programs typically focus on individual performance, shifting to a team setting places greater responsibility on individual performances for squad outcomes.

“Fencing collegiately is more fun because it turns it into a team sport. You’re fencing for your team instead of fencing for yourself. When you win, the team wins,” Daniel said.

Daniel has done a lot of just that.

The freshman has a 51-17 record on the season for a winning percentage of .750—the highest of the epee squad. With the end of her debut season in sight, she’s looking to continue improving.

“I want to develop some of my actions more so I have more options, so I’m relying less on the same thing when I fence. It also makes it more interesting. It gets kind of boring when there’s only a few actions that have been working that day but you want to do more,” Daniel said.

Women’s fencing still has the Temple Invitational ahead of them this weekend, where they will face off with high caliber teams including No. 5 Temple and No. 6 Penn State. It will also offer a rematch with Princeton. At their current eighth-place ranking, the Red and Blue will look to perform as a team in their last official tournament before NCAA Regionals in early March.

Going forward, the Ivy Tournament finish has also inspired great confidence for the potential of the program in future years. The Ivy League is incredibly competitive, and the Red and Blue were extremely close to coming away with a win.

“We lost to Columbia and Yale and for both of those it came down to a 5-4 bout to determine who would win. Deep down, we knew we won based off of calls that were made. We know that next year we can do better, and learn from what happened and try to get first,” Daniel said.

With the potential to end the season on a very high note, Daniel has an entire club rooting for her back home.

“I knew she would do really well at Ivies, but to be honest with you, she surprised me when she won last week. The competition was very high and very strong… We were jumping at the club, like, ‘Wow Chloe did it.’ It was a really happy moment for us,” Emara said.

If there are more surprises like that in store for Daniel and the rest of Penn women’s fencing, the Red and Blue are sure to round out the season on a high note.

Penn cross country struggles on muddy course at Ivy Heps

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Damp, uninviting conditions played as the backdrop to the crown jewel of the Ancient Eight’s cross country season: the Ivy League Heptagonal Championships, an event that saw the youthful Quakers face difficulties.

At the , the men’s squad finished in third place while the women’s came in at seventh place. In this year’s edition, both the men and women took a small step back: fourth place for the men, eighth place for the women.

Defending champions reigned supreme on Saturday. Princeton took home the men’s crown with 30 points, and Columbia’s nationally ranked women’s squad defended their 2017 gold with 52 points. Both champions were more than 30 points clear of the second place finisher — a true show of dominance.

The Penn men and women came in with differing expectations.

Looking to build on last year’s bronze finish, the men set their sights on loftier goals.

“As a team, we were tryinrystal Palace was close in the past.Michelangelo Minieri now expects Kouame to remain with the Viola long-term as he arrives from Genoa.He told Sky Italia: “Fiorentina has invested in a prospective and talented boy, it has been following him for someg to win the race. That was really it — just trying to win the race,” sophomore Anthony Russo said.

On the women’s side, the goal was to string together as many strong individual performances as possible to build momentum for the future.

“I think we just wanted to place as high as we could,” sophomore Danielle Orie said. “We wanted to have individual, good races collectively as a team. We weren’t expecting to win, we just wanted to do the best we could out there.”

While, expectations-wise, the men and women had their differences, in terms of strategy, the two squads took a similar approach to the race — that is, one that focused on maintaining a close distance to the front of the pack at a steady pace and start a move halfway to three-quarters through the race.

“Our aim was to stay in coondon for the foreseeable future with the in-form Frenchman aiming to secure a new contract at Chelsea.”Yes. Yes. Yeah, of course,” he told the Evening Standard. “There are a few months to go, games to win and maybe another trophy, and aftr Jaap Stam is backing their move for Ajax captain Matthijs de Ligt.The young defender is expected to announce his new club this week.Stam said, “I don’t know if it’s a possibility. But I can understand why United would want to sign him because he’er, you knontention for the first [4,000 meters] and then once we got halfway through the race, we had the mindset where it was like ‘okay, let’s be in there and when they make a move, be ready to go with it, grit it out, and see what happens,’” Russo said.

The weather played an important factor in the race. Orie, who lead the women with a 25th place finish, described the conditions as “crummy”; Russo simply said it “was not that great.”

Russo and senior Sam Webb led the way for the Quakers, placing 10th and 11th in the 8K race, respectively. Junior Aaron Groff and sophomore Alex Roth both finished in the top 20, and sophomore Daniel Cohen placed 36th to round out the Red and Blue’s top five.

Orie, a 2017 All-Ivy runner, finished in 25th place in the 6K. Juniors Maddie Villalba and Nia Akins came in at 32nd and 36th, respectively. Freshman Annie Zimmer and sophomore Melissa Tanaka composed the remainder of the top five, with finishes in the mid-to-late 40s.

Overall, while the athletes may not have gotten the results they had hoped for at this year’s Heps, there is still reason to be hopeful for the future. Of the top-five finishers from both the men’s and women’s teams, only one will be graduating next May.

“With the spirit we have, it’s not a matter of how many times we win, it’s a matter of how many times we are defeated and we stand up from it,” Orie said.

With leadership and wisdom like that, there is good reason to believe that the Quakers will be back in a big way at Heps next year.

No. 10 Penn women's lacrosse gets torn apart by No. 18 Princeton, 21-8, in rivalry showdown

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No. 10 Penn women’s lacrosse had a chance to clinch at least a share of its third straight Ivy League regular season title heading into a matchup against arch rival No. 18 Princeton.

However, a slow start and numerous penalties doomed the Quakers in a 21-8 road loss at the hands of the Tigers for Penn’s first conference loss of the season.

In the first minute, the Quakers (11-3, 5-1 Ivy) looked true to form. Penn scored the first goal of the game off a free position shot from senior attackman Caroline Cummings, to go along with a nice save from sophomore goalie Mikaila Cheeseman the next possession.

After that, the wheels came off.

Princeton (9-5, 5-1) scored the next seven goals of the game, with five of those coming off free position shots.

“We didn’t get off the bus,” coach Karin Corbett said of the team’s offense. “We just didn’t come to attack them, we wasted our possessions, [and] we didn’t move the ball well.”

Corbett credited Princeton’s ability to get a lot of free position shots — eight-yard shots which occur after a foul from the defense, similar to free kicks in soccer — to its tenacious offense.

Coming into the game, Penn paced the conference and was second nationally with 9.23 assists per game. However, the Red and Blue’s offense, one of the best in the Ivy League, was unable to find its rhythm. The team as a whole did not have any assists on the game. Additionally, freshman Tewaaraton Award contender Zoe Belodeau failed to record a point for the first time in her young career.

On the other end, Princeton overwhelmed Penn with a balanced scoring attack that saw seven players record points and five record at least four.

Still, throughout most the game, Penn was able to get within striking distance, even coming within three points of Princeton early in the second half off a goal from sophomore Gabby Rosenzweig. That made the score 10-7, and the Quakers’ offense finally seemed to come alive.

Unfortunately for Penn, the Tigers responded like they did in the first half.

Shortly after Rosenzweig’s tally, with the score now 12-8 with roughly 12 minutes to go in the second half, Cummings placed a free position shot right stick side-high, an easy save for Princeton’s Sam Fish, who leads the Ivy League in save percentage. On the ensuing possession, the Tigers rocketed a goal past Cheeseman to bring the score to 13-8.

From there, Princeton scored the last eight goals of the game. Cheeseman was replaced by Smith in the second half for the second straight game.

21 goals conceded is by far the Red and Blue’s worst statistical defensive performance of the season. In fact, since at least 2.Libertad Digital says there is an interest from Atletico in Pérez. For now, it is a tentative interest for the striker, 25, and at the moment there is no negotiation. Valencia, Real Betis and Napoli have also been linked with Perez since the Palace confirmed their relegation.Bamba has missed the latter part of the season through injury.He said after the 3-2 loss: “Yeah it’s obviously a big disappointment. He feels like we missed a trick but it’s a long season of 38 games. It isn’t just tend of004, as far back as the Pennathletics.com website goes, the Quakers have never given up more than 20 goals in a game.

“The first half gave them the confidence to keep attacking,” Corbett said reflecting on the second half onslaught.

Even with the disappointing loss, Penn still has a shot to earn a share of the regular season conference title as long as it takes care of business against a .500 Yale team on Saturday. Currently, Penn, Princeton, and Dartmouth are knotted atop league standings at 5-1.

Yale (7-7, 2-4) ranks dead last in the Ivy League in goals per game with 10.64. Still, Corbett knows Penn cannot afford to repeat its defensive performance from Wednesday night.

The Bulldogs’ Sydney Marks leads the Ivy League in saves per game. With help from her offense, the Quakers could definitely fall victim to an upset-minded Yale team.

“We’ve got to play to win. Our attack has to actually attack, and we have to play like we want to win a championship,” Corbett said of the keys to defeating Yale.

Though it did not play like a championship team tonight, Penn still has a lot of lacrosse left to play this season. With a rewill always love Newcastle United.Mitrovic spent three seasons at St. James’ Park between 2015 and 2018 before joining Fulham last summer.And the Serb thinks Toon are as big of a club as Arsenal and Everton.”I will always love Newcastle,” he told Talnewed focus, the Quakers will look to take out the frustration from an embarrassing loss on Yale in New Haven.

Penn men's basketball's Red & Blue Scrimmage ends in laps

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It’s not every day that a basketball game ends in a tie, but when Penn men’s basketball is involved, it seems like anything is possible.

In the annual Red and Blue scrimmage, the Quakers were divided up into two teams under the direction of the assistant coaches. With head coach Jerome Allen looking on, both veteran and incoming freshmen players went toe-to-toe for 30 minutes.

After two halves, the Red and Blue teams were deadlocked at 42. Though the teams entered sudden-death overtime, neither squad could score and Allen ended the scrimmage with the contest still knotted after 10 possessions, forcing both squads to run.

“No one really stood out, it wasn’t like there was any ssa Djenepo’s solo second-half effort made it back-to-back wins on the road for Saints – something which they had not done since March 2017.“I think it was a very concentrated performance from every player. We had a different shape today again so tellar play,” Allen said. “Both teams had some very good pocan understand Arsenal’s interest in defender Tierney.“Oncawing Liverpool in the Champions League draw.The 2018 finalists are both in the round of 16, though as defending champions, Liverpool would be clear favourites should they meet again.”If we play Liverpool, we will eliminate them,” said Zidane with a e you’re a top quality player like he [Tierney] is, like what Callum [McGregor] is, what James [Forrest] is, you are always going to get bids. You are always going to get speculation and youssessions, but I can’t say that I’m really surprised or encouraged by what I saw.”

The teams were fairly even throughout the morning, as neither squad was able to register a lead larger than five points.

Sophomore guards Tony Hicks and Jamal Lewis, freshman guard Matt Howard and senior forward Fran Dougherty were among the starters for the Blue squad. The Red squad was led by juniors Henry Brooks and Patrick Lucas-Perry, senior Miles Cartwright and freshman Tony Bagtas.

“I thought we shared the ball, I thought we defended hard and to me it seemed like we were definitely physical, but we have to go back and watch the film,” Cartwright said. “We need to pick out some of things we did well and some of the things we didn’t do well and use that to get better as a team.”

Though it was clear that there is room for improvement across the board and neither team shined, there were a few positive takeaways from the scrimmage.

Bagtas thrived while leading the Red offense, and he often was able to get into the key before kicking the ball out to teammates for open shots on the wing. Despite playing with Cartwright, it was most often Bagtas running the point.

“It was exciting,” Bagtas said. “It felt really exciting to be on the court for the first time in a game situation with all the lights on in a big, historic arena. I loved it.”

In addition to Bagtas, Lucas-Perry also stood out for the Red squad, while Lewis had a nice day from beyond the arc for the Blue team.

Due to injury concerns, Allen held out sophomore center Darien Nelson-Henry, senior guards Dau Jok and Steve Rennard, junior forward Greg Louis and freshman center David Winfield.

Even without a bulk of his team in uniform, Allen cited sloppy play and lack of execution as consequences for the team’s lack of playing at game speed thus far in the preseason.

“I think that all the guys played hard and they competed,” Allen said. “They may not have executed that well or gotten the ultimate plan finished all the way, but we tried to keep it competitive throughout.

“It was okay, it was fair, but we’ve gotta keep working.”SEE ALSO

Penn men's soccer kicks off home stretch vs. Big Green

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Being in a city may limit our exposure to nature, but there will be no shortage of green at Rhodes Field on Saturday night.

With two shutouts in Ivy play so far, the Penn men’s soccer team is looking for another clean sheet against the Big Green in its third Ivy contest.

“We are really focusing on keeping a lot of possession this game, really working the ball around, really stretching their defense out and picking them apart that way,” senior Alex Reddy said. “Making it a little bit less of a foot race, less of an athletic battle and much more of a soccer game.”

While the Quakers (4-6-1, 1-0-1 Ivy) are coming off of a win and a tie in league play, Dartmouth (4-2-4, 0-2) is trying to come back from two close losses after a great out-of-conference display.

“They’ve had a lot of success over the years,” coach Rudy Fuller said. “They have lost two very close, difficult games in the league but they have some quality results in the season so far. They were undefeated coming into the league matches.”

The last time the Red and Blue beat Dartmouth was three years ago when they went 5-2 in league play and beat Cornell and Columbia prior to playing in Hanover. Yet the past two years, the Big Green have gotten out in front early and the Quakers couldn’t recover.

But this year is very different from last year’s 1-6 run through Ivy play — just look at the Quakers’ Ivy record thus far.

“We’ve got to get on our front foot and play aggressively and really try to pin them in their end and put them under some pressure and make them chase,” Fuller said. “But in order to do that we have to be very sharp on the ball.”

“Every year brings a new set of challenges, and I don’t expect this year’s game to be like last year’s game or two years ago,” Reddy added. “We have to expect Real Madrid.The Belgian moved from Chelsea to Real Madrid last summer, but he has yet to impress with his performances, while he has also struggled with injuries since his arrival.”If Hazard is not playing well, something happens at Real Madrid,” ht them to start fast, and we have to be ready to go off the bat. But I think coming into this game with two clean sheets, we are feeling very good about ourselves defensively and how well we will be able to compete.”

Just as the Quakers are a different team than they were last season, the Big Green have also made some changes. Former assistant coach Chad Riley took over for Jeff Cook and is in his inaugural season as head coach. However, the team doesn’t seem to have changed too radically.

“The philosophy seems to be much of the same in terms of their setup and how they play and how they look to attack and how they look to defend,” Fuller said.

With all Ivy games last weekend going into overtime, the league is more competitive than it has been in years past. But the run the Quakers have had so far gives them confidence for a promising future.

“I think we expect a very competitive game like all the Ivy League games,”b.Pique already part-owns loc star Sergio Aguero hopes to play for Independiente again before he retires.The Argentine marksman has been a revelation since arriving in Europe, starring for Atletico Madrid and Manchester City.In a recent interview, Aguero spoke about his return tal outfit Andorra FC and Blick says he made a more ambitious attempt to buy Switzerland’s FC Lugano.A meeting took place a few days ago in Ticino between Pique and Lugano president Angelo Renzetti. However, both parties c Reddy said. “We are in a pretty good run right now, and we hope to continue that this weekend.”SEE ALSO

Penn sprint football bests alumni, 26-12

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On a beautiful Saturday afternoon, Penn sprint football fans got their first glimpse of the 2013 Quakers’ explosive offense.

And that explosive offense coupled with a hard-nosed defensive front was enough to notch Penn a 26-12 victory in the annual alumnirds have fallen dramatically since Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement.He said, “For me, a lot of these issues come down to the attitude of the squad. The players seem to do exactly what they want, when they want. There’s no presence, no control from ab game.

The alumni game is played in two 45-minute halves, each of which opened with a couple of three-and-outs by both squads. Eventually, class of ’13 alum Whit Shaw reminded fans of his talents by making a 19-yard grab over the middle. The drive was capitalized by a 12 yard rush by class of ’11 alum Mike Bagnoli. The alumni missed the extra point, leaving the game at 6-0.

Then Penn’s offense kicked into high gear. Freshman quarterback Mike McCurdy exploded for a 25-yard run up the middle after bobbling the snap, followed by a 22-yard catch by senior Michael Bass. Penn punctuated its drive with a nine-yard sweep to the outside for a touchdown by junior running back Mike Beamish.

Immediately following the kickoff, Shaw took a beautiful pass down the seam for 70 yards, putting the score at 12-7 after a failed two-point conversion by the alumni.

The Red and Blue defense would not allow the alumni to score again, and Penn added an eight-yard Longtin touchdown from McCurdy to close out the first half.

Junior quarterback Keith Braccia showed playmaking ability by shedding two tacklers en route to a 35-yard touchdown jaunt at the outset of the second half. More importantly, the defense stepped up its efforts in the second half, as exemplified by its two picks in the period.

The game says a lot about this year’s squad. Last season, the alumni easily dispatched the Quakers, 20-0. But Saturday, the rumored potency of the offense was on full display.

Last week, junior wide receiver Nick Longtin commented thhe coming days.The Mirror says Inter will this week launch a bid for United’s £75 million want away striker Lukaku.Antonio Conte has made signing the Belgium international his number one priority and Inter are keen to make a statement by getting himat the offense hasn’t “missed a beat” in the absence of Whit Shaw. Though this was merely the alumni game, the Quakers got to show their new-look offense focused around their big-play versatility and ability to run the ball.

On the flipside, freshman defensive back Robert Diorio was a tour de force all afternoon, adding a sack and a rushing touchdown in the latter stages of the game.

Penn’s next matchup is slated for Friday at 7 p.m., at Army. Roma’s move for Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren has fallen through over a signing-on bonus.TMW says Roma and Liverpool had struck terms over a deal for Lovren, who had also settled on a contract with the Giallorosso.Yesterday, Liverpool had agreed a €3m loan fee with Roma with a permanent option worth €12m, which would be triggered by 20 appearances.Lovren also agreed a €3m-a-year contract for four seasons.However, the deal has now collapsed – for the moment – after Lovren’s demands of a €1m signing-on bonus was turned down by Roma.

Penn Relays | The Golden Girls of Franklin Field

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Women’s track and field coach Gwen Harris knew her group of 13 recruits was going to be special when they entered Penn as freshmen four years ago.

She just didn’t know how special.

“In the past 10 years, we’ve had seniors that have been great — but not 13,” Harris said. “Normally you have four or three or two that are great, and the other people complement them. These guys complement each other pretty well.”

The numbers the current senior class has put up speak for themselves:

Paige Madison shattered the school record in 400-meter hurdles as a sophomore — the first Penn woman to break the one-minute mark, posting a 58.89.

Madison, Renee McDougall and Leah Brown were part of the 4×100-meter relay team that set the program record two years ago, running a 46.03.

Kristen Judge tied Nicole Maloy’s 18-year high jump record with a 1.75-meter leap on April 14.

And the list goes on.

Harris gushed with pride when talking about her senior athletes.

“What can I say about Renee is that she’s just amazing — she’ll run through a brick wall for Penn.”

“Kristen Judge, as a freshman, she scored at Heps. And every year since then, she has scored at every Heps that she has been in. That’s an amazing feat.”

“They’re not all record-breaking things, but they’re things that help this team become the team that it is.”

Without hesitation, Harris responded that she knew this class was going to be good, but they still surpassed many of her originaled by injuries having sealed a £13million move to join Cherries from Bristol City back in May. Howe told the Daily Echo: “Lloyd is a huge player for us.“I’m really, really disappointed that the Bournemouth supporters haven’t seen more of him, be expectations.

“If you asked me if I knew that Paige was going to just go by 59 [seconds] and go to 58? No I didn’t know that. I thought there would be a little bit more of a progression. But who cares? I love it.”

At this weekend’s Penn Relays and next weekend’s Heptagonal Championships, both hosted at Franklin Field, is there a ceiling as to what these Quakers can accomplish?

“I hope there’s none,” Harris said. “Because I want it to be the best they’ve ever done.”

Though Heps represents the team’s most important meet of the season, for Renee McDougall, Penn Relays is the most fun time of the year.

“We excel as relay teams,” McDougall said. “We’ve been working together for four years. We completely trust one another. We know exactly what we want to do as a relay team.”

The next two weeks represent the team’s “time to shine,” according to senior Victoria Strickland.

“We’re an outdoor team — we see a lot of people peak around this time of year,” said Strickland, who ran the program’s second-fastest 800 meters, in 2:06.88, last year. “This is our home track … Heps might be the last time we’re all competing as one unit, so I think that’s a huge thing we’re looking forward to.”

Moreover, the team is brimming with confidence. They’re cocky, but in a good way.

“We know we’re gonna kick butt,” McDougall said.

For Leah Brown, she wants to leave a mark with her teammates at this year’s Relays. And there’s one simple way to do that:

“Rewrite the record books,” she said. “At Penn Relays, we have to break some recool are planning a raid on Arsenal to add to their backroom.The Liverpool-target-Arsenals-head-medical-services-Gary-ODriscoll-replace-Andrew-Massey.html” target=”_blank”>Daily Mail says Liverpool are hopeful of luring a key member of Arsenal’s backrords.”

But despite all the records, all the camaraderie, all the support, the seniors are most proud of the team they are leaving behind and ths radar.Tuttosport says Inter see the Frenchman as a replacement for Lautaro Martinez, who is a big money target for Barcelona this summer.Inter coach Antonio Conte is a fan of Martial, having tried to sign the attacker while in charge of Chelsea.At e underclassmen that will be taking the reigns.

“We’re passing the baton off to them,” Brown said.

But first, they’ve got to finish the last leg of their own relay. There are still some races to run and some records to break.

Penn women's basketball taking it one step at a time

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After opening the season with a victory over St. Francis on Sunday, Penn’s women’s basketball will continue to take it one game at a time.

“We’re still getting used to each other, but we’re getting closer,” sophomore starting point guard Meghan McCullough said. “Coach wants us to feel more comfortable on the court.”

Although coach Mike McLaughlin sensed a lack of chemistry at times in his team’s first game, he was still content with Sunday’s outcome.

“Anytime that we find a way to win at the end, it’s always a good thing,” McLaughlin said. “As a coach, though, there’s obviously things we can improve upon.”

Saturday’s game against Ride has jokingly suggested he may be interested in buying Newcastle United, reports Sky Sports.According to Forbes, boxer Mayweather was the highest paid athlete of the last decade, earning $915m (£686m) in that time.The five-weight former world champir (2-0) at the Palestra will be the team’s next opportunity.

Last year against the Broncs, the Quakers (1-0) went to New Jersey and handled business with relatively little rebuff, winning, 60-45.

In that game chance to make his case for a spot in the Liverpool first-team. The teenage centre-back is Liverpool’s only signing so far this summer.The Dutchman was originally allocated to the academy, but manager Jurgen Klopp says he will “open the door” for te, then-freshman McCullough led all scorers with 17 points. She grabbed five rebounds and was dead-eye from the three-point line, shooting 4-for-4.

And though she had, by all accounts, a successful freshman campaign, she knew that it’d be necessary to put in work and grow as a player over the summer to continue on her upward trajectory.

“This summer, I had to work on a few things: strength, speed,” McCullough said. “I did, and coming in sophomore year is a lot better because we’re all so much morssandro Florenzi says he deserved his goalscoring performance for victory over Juventus.Florenzi celebrated the goal with fans in the Curva Sud.And he later explained, “I really relished that hug with the fans, as I think I deserved it. For once in me comfortable.”

As a starting sophomore, she will be called upon to be a leader amongst a large group of freshmen. Thus far, she seems content with what they are bringing to the table.

“The freshmen are doing great, they’re all contributing,” McCullough beamed. “Each one comes in and does whatever the team needs to play better.”

McLaughlin agreed.

“The freshmen did well for their first game; it’s never an easy transition. There’s a lot going on, you’re excited, you’re anxious, you’re nervous, all those emotions and then trying to perform.”

Another sophomore who will be consistently called on to lead this team is reigning Ivy and Big 5 Rookie of the Year Alyssa Baron.

And after dropping 27 points in the first game of the season, it’s safe to say she’s picking up right where she left off.

“She did some really special things last game and just willed us to the win with those big shots,” McLaughlin said.

Although Baron had to deal with questions about shot selection from time to time last year, McLaughlin feels comfortable with her progress and the role she’ll play on the team this year.

“Her role will of course be to score the ball, but I hope she can grow as a defender every day as well,” he said. “We want her to be that all-around player.”

For the young Quakers, their success depends on the continued growth of all players. Rider will be a test, as they too are bringing back a veteran team — that’s also undefeated — to oppose the Red and Blue.

“It’s good being young,” McCullough said. “Our team is exciting. The next few years are all uphill for us.”

W. Hoops | Quakers will step out of the zone

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Coach Pat Knapp and his team might want to look for a fallout shelter, because when they face Villanova (4-1) tomorrow, it’ll be bombs away.

Tomorrow, Penn will have to deal with a squad that has already developed a reputation of being a huge three-point threat. This does not bode well for the Quakers (3-3), who are trying to turn around an abysmal 2-32 record against the Wildcats.

“We better get a hand up and contest those shots,” Knapp said, not wanting to give away any information as to the Quakers’ strategy in defending the three-pointer. Forward Maggie Burgess hinted that her team will play man, not zone.

The Wildcats have taken 54.4 percent of their shots from downtown, and made 36.9 percent of those threes. DefensivAlbion want to bring the attacker back to the Premier League for the rest of the season.But they would have to pay Boca to end the loan deal, as there is no clause that allows them to terminate the contract at will.Boca do not want to lose Mac Allistely, the Quakers have been allowing opposing teams to shoot 37.1 percent from outside.

So the 2-3 zone that worked so effectively against Rider the last time the Quakers played may well be a non-option.

Villanova’s playing style presents the Quakers with another unique problem. Knapp may consider changing up his lineup against the Wildcats, because some starters, such as Burgess, who is 6-foot-2 and used to banging around down low, aren’t at their best defending the perimeter.

Burgess did not see any time in last year’s game against Villanova, a 57-50 defeat at the Palestra.

“If I do play, I will just be guarding them . the same as the guards will, up on the shooters,” she said.

Burgess added that in such a scenario, the Quakers would definitely pound the ball inside. Penn’s big players would try to take advantage of the “uniform” Villanova team, as Burgess called it, that has all its starters standing about six feet tall.

Defensively, the Quakers will struggle to match the highly efficient Wildcats. Villanova averages a hair over 10 turnovers a game, while consistently notching around 14 assists.

“We’re . dedicated to stopping you in the half-court, so we betterruno Fernandes.Having rejected a bid from Spurs over the summer for the Portugal international, Sporting are now prepared to sell.Record says the change of manager at Tottenham, with Jose Mourinho replacing Mauricio Pochettino, hasn’t changed the Lon pressure the ball very hard,” Knapp said about possible ways to force more turnovers. “We’re not necessarily a pressing team at this point with our numbers and our capabister United.ESPN reporter Paolo Bandini says finding a club for Icardi will be difficult due to the controversy surrounding the Argentine in the last year.He claims Inter Milan have explored the possibility of a swap with United for Romelu Lukaku.Howlities.”

Penn can find solace in the fact that Loyola-Maryland, a team that Penn beat earlier this season, solved the Villanova puzzle in holding the Wildcats to a season-low 47 points and coming away with a two-point victory.

In that game, Villanova went ice-cold in the second half, shooting at a measly 24 percent.

In order to begin turning the one-sided record around, the Quakers had better hope that the Wildcats’ offensive bombing run comes up short again in this one.

M. Soccer: Back at full health, but is it too late?

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It’s good to be healthy, and for the first time in a couple of weeks, the Penn men’s soccer team is near 100 percent. Last week’s games against Dartmouth and Rutgers saw a few key players either out or stule United winger Christian Atsu says the players are eager to hear that Rafa Benitez has agreed a new deal.Atsu has called on the club to do everything to keep him in the long-term.He told the Mirror: “Rafa is more than a manager to us, the way he ck with limited minutes because of injuries.

Senior defender and captain Keith Vereb played just 53 minutes against Dartmouth and only came on in the second half against Rutgers on Wednesday. Classmate Derek Hobson sas season.His 12 wins, four defeats and one draw gave him an impressive 72.54 percentage of points won during his spell, but the humiliation against Ajax proved too much to handle for those at the Santiago Bernabeu.Then came Zinedine Zidane who accumuw just 34 minutes of action off the bench that game.

Missing from action against the Scarlet Knights were junior midfielder Alex Grendi and freshman forward Tobi Olopade. While not a starter, Olopade can usually be counted on to see his fair share of minutes in games.

Coach Rudy Fuller attributed the injuries to the usual wear and tear of the season. He added that “because Rutgers was our last nonconference game of the season, we saw it as an opportunity to rest some guys who were a little banged-up.”

After the home win against Yale on Saturday, Fuller also decided to skip practice yesterday to help the team re Roberto Pererya has withdrawn from the Argentina squad for the international break.The winger was substituted in the first-half of the game at Carrow Road on Friday evening due to a right hamstring problem.He was due to face Brazil and Uruguay in gast for this Saturday’s tough road matchup at Brown.

Help from the bench. Saturday’s game against Yale had Mike Klein, Andrew Ferry and Jeff Livingston all playing in reduced time. Fuller said he is “lucky to have such depth on the team” that he can afford to rest players.

Freshman Loukas Tasigianis has been a great spark, and he now leads the team with four goals on the year. His stellar play as of late (three goals in his last four games) earned him a starting spot on Saturday.

But Fuller also has solid options up front with Richard Frank, Klein, Ferry, Olopade and Omid Shokoufandeh.

In particular, Shokoufandeh has seen his minutes and contributions steadily increase from the beginning of this season.

And Lee Rubenstein, who barely played at all last year, is making an impact off the bench on defense and also as a spot starter.

With all of these options and possible lineups, Fuller is very optimistic that his team will be able to stay fresh and healthy through its final four contests.

Just win, baby. If the Quakers wants to capture the Ivy title and the playoff berth that eluded it last year, it looks like winning out may be the only good chance.

At this point, it’s a four-horse race – through three Ivy games, Brown is in the driver’s seat with nine points while Dartmouth has seven. Penn and Harvard are tied with six.

But Harvard’s loss came to Brown, and its two toughest remaining games (Penn and Dartmouth) are at home. It seems very likely that both the Bears and the Crimson will win out (sorry, Dartmouth).

So right now, it looks like the Quakers can’t afford not to win and need Brown to drop one for a shot at the title.

W. soccer: Crimson picks up first win vs. edgeless Quakers

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Despite losing the battles of possession time and shots on goal, Harvard women’s soccer managed to continue its dominance over Penn.

The previously winless Crimson (1-6-1, 1-0 Ivy) improved to 12-2-2 all-time versus their Ivy rivals, escaping Rhodes Field with a 2-1 victory yesterday afternoon.

The Quakers, meanwhile, dropped to 4-2-1, 0-1 Ivor his job after defeat to Crystal Palace.The Hammers’ last gasp defeat to Crystal Palace on Boxing Day compiled further misery on the east London club, who are languishing in the bottom half of the tableThe Times says Pellegrini has now been given ty, after their second straight loss.

The home team and crowd shook their heads as time expired. For the second time this week, the Quakers clearly outplayed their opponent and had nothing to show for it. On Wednesday, Penn outshot intracity rival Temple by an astounding 21-3 margin, yet were shutout 2-0. Yesterday saw a similar scenario: right ideas, poor executions.

“When you don’t score, the other team gets confidence from it,” Penn coach Darren Ambrose said after the defeat. “We probably wasted six or seven clear chances to score. The same thing happened at Temple; the same thing happened today.”

“We have to finish our chances,” freshman Jessica Fuccello echoed. “We just need to settle down and come out better in the beginning of the game.”

Last week’s Ivy League Rookie of the Week, the forward scored Penn’s only goal of the game with less than nine minutes remaining – a header off of an Eileen Larkin free kick.

“The energy picked up a lot, but it was too little too late,” Fuccello said.

Fuccello appeared to score at the end of the first half, but officials disallowed the goal with an offsides call, one of seven on the day for Penn (compared to Harvard’s one). The disappointing ruling visibly rattled the Quakers.

“We’re very young up front,” Ambrose said. “They are playing well, but we are lacking composure.”

Penn rebounded with solid play for a short while in the second half, before Harvard’s Erin Wylie ended 70 minutes of scoreless play with a boot past goalie Cailly Carroll. Less than 10 minutes later, Rachael Lau flicked the eventual decider into the upper corner of the net.

Penn, which overcame a 2-0 deficit at North Carolina-Greensboro earlier this season, began its comeback attempt against Harvard just over a minute later with Fuccello’s goal. The Quakers had several chances to force overtime in the final minutes, but were ultimately denied thanks to Crimson goalkeeper Lauren Mann.

“Lauren Mann was the difference in the game today,” Ambrose said of Harvardlla on Wednesday. Goals from Tammy Abraham and Mason Mount on either side of Trezeguet’s equaliser were enough for the Blues to clinch a 2-1 victory at Stamford Bridge.After missing Saturday’s loss to West Ham with a hip injury, Abraham proved his im’s freshman goalie.

The Quakers will look to even their Ivy League record next Saturday at Cornell. With a week to prepare, Ambrose plans to emphasize the importance of playing a complete game.

“We’ve been slow starting all year,” he said. “We can play 45 minutes, and we’ve played 45 minutes. But atsists he’s happy with their quiet transfer window.Klopp was speaking in his preview for their Friday night opener against Norwich City.He said, “No answer on whether we were offered the chance to bring in Coutinho.”We don’t make big comments on these the end of the day, you need to play for 90 minutes. If you don’t play for 90 minutes, you aren’t going to win the game.”

Quakers offense has some T.O. problems of its own

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It’s rare that a victory is a wake-up call, but that’s exactly what happened to the football team when it narrowly escaped losing to perennial Ivy pushover Dartmouth two weeks ago.

But after closing out its non-conference schedule with a decisive win against Bucknell on Saturday, it was clear that Penn had responded. However, even coach Al Bagnoli won’t claim that the Quakers had hit their stride yet: “We’re by no means a finished product,” he said.

Offensive gaffes

Despite taking a 27-10 lead after three quarters against Bucknell, the Quakers had to hold their breath a few times after some miscues on offense.

Penn fell on three of its own fumbles in those three quarters, and quarterback Robert Irvin was intercepted twice by Bucknell defensive back Stephen Collage.

The 32-yard return following the first pick set up a Bison touchdown, and the second happened in Bucknell’s end zone, halting dfielder Stuart Armstrong admits there’s a lot of frustration after defeat at home to Everton.The visitors took the lead early on, but Saints rallied thereafter and drew level via Danny Ings’s seventh of the season – only to be stung late on by a Rica Penn drive at the end of the second half.

And all of this before the second-stringers entered the game.

When the backups did come in during the fourth quarter, the Bison put a little fear into Penn by scoring 14 quick points off of two Penn fumbles. Not long after, running back Sam Shepherd put the ball on the ground deep in Quakers territory, and punter Anthony Melillo dropped a snap on the next Penn drive, leading to a 20-yard loss and a turnover on downs on the 14-yard line.

The Quakers are fortunate that these gaffes came in a game that was already well in hand, because next time they might not be so lucky.

“That’s points left off the board, that’s momentum-breakers; that’s drive-stops,” Bagnoli said. “We have to do a much better job of protecting the football.

Just kickin’ iEmerson Palmieri says the players are responding to manager Frank Lampard’s attacking tactics.Emerson, speaking before Saturday’s home defeat to Bournemouth, was reflecting on reaching the Champions League round of 16.”The thing I like most about Lamt

One reason the Quakers were able to put Melillo’s fumble behind them was Melillo himself.

Along with kicker Derek Zoch, Melillo – who Bagnoli says is “capable of being the best punter in the league” – made sure to take advantage of his limited opportunities on the field. He averaged a whopping 38.3 yards per punt, including a long of 44 yards.

Zoch also came through, making all six of his kicks. He connected on four extra points and made two field goals, one from 24 yards and then a 36-yarder, his longest this season.

Both Bagnoli and Zoch think he may be past his early-season troubles.

“Every day is a new day,” Zoch said. “When things get hard, you’ve just got to stay positive.”

Back-stoppers

The Penn defense takes pride in i has stunned him after their 4-0 thumping of Southampton.The Reds have now won 24 of 25 games this season to move 22 points clear at the top of the Premier League.Liverpool have now taken 100 points from a possible 102 and, when told none of the assets ability to stop the run, but few could have predicted the type of success it had against the Bucknell offense, which lives and dies by its running game.

On Saturday, the Bison died by it – the Quakers held them to 2.2 yards per carry and didn’t allow starting running back A.J. Kizekai to ever settle in.

Although Kizekai isn’t the usual starter, the real reason Bucknell’s ground game couldn’t get going was that its reputation preceded it.

“When you come into a game geared up mainly for the run and not the pass, it’s much easier to defend,” said linebacker Joe Anastasio, who led Penn with eight tackles. “That just makes our job easier.”

For now, Penn’s front seven will try to ride this momentum as they enter the thick of league play.

“It feels good to get a game in where we can really be dominant,” Anastasio said.

“And it feels good going into the rest of the season . that we’ve got some confidence to go on.”

'Crazy Clark' named I-AA All-Star

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It’s no surprise that Penn offensive lineman Chris Clark — known as “Crazy Clark” around the locker room — was selected to play in this year’s Division I-AA All-Star Classic in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

“I always look to hit someone,” Clark said.

While Clark and Penn’s other offensive linemen are often absent in the box score, many of the Quakers’ other offensive players rank highly in the Ancient Eight — partly due to the blocking of the O-line.

Penn junior wideout Dan Castles leads the Ivy League in receiving yards per game with 96.1. Quakers sophomore running back Sam Mathews ranks second in rushing yards per game with 134.9. Senior quarterback Mike Mitchell is third in passing average with 261.1 yards per game.

Penn’s dominant offensive line, featuring five seniors — Ben Noll, Chris Kupchik, Matt Dukes, Michael Powers and Clark — has no ranking.

But Mathews has attributed much of his success all season long to the offensive line. After Penn’s 51-10 victory over Duquesne, during which the Navy transfer rushed for 89 yards and a touchdid president Florentino Perez says they’ll go to Barcelona on Wednesday willing to fight for everything.Los Blancos’ president was speaking about all sporting sections of the club, and the need to continue pursuing success.”We are on the eve of El Clown, Mathews said of the offensive line: “They were making huge holes that anybody could run through.”

Mitchell mirrored Mathews’ sentiments.

“Clarky is kind of a quiet kid and, I mean, he’s a big kid,” Mitchell said of the 6’1″, 285-pound lineman. “Some of the blocks that he throws on film are just unbelievable.”

The offensive line is often credited together, as a whole, as Mathews articulated.

What makes Clark stand out?

“I guess just because I can knock people down,” Clark said. “Sometimes it might not help the play that muturn to Italy.Mourinho has not had a job in football since he was sacked as Manchester United’s chief last December.The three-time Premier League winner enjoyed one of the most impressive two seasons of his career at Inter Milan.”My future? I don’t tch, but I guess it helps me get noticed.”

But oftentimes, Clark’s crushing hits help the play.

“I’ve been in situations where I was supposed to roll out, might have pulled up short and Clarky had my back a few times,” Mitchell said. “He just erased the guys.”

Penn coach Al Bagnoli spoke highly of Clark, Penn’s 2002 Chuck Bednarik Award winner, given to the Quakers’ top offensive lineman.

“He’s the only returning lineman that was a unanimous first-team All-Ivy League [selection] last year,” Bagnoli said. “Because of that pedigree, because of his play this year, he has certainly enough in terms of the resum‚ that would make him stick out.”

To add to plete a return to the Hammers after leaving in the summer of 2017.Randolph has appeared in 14 Championship games for Middlesbrough this season, winning Man of the Match in one of those outings.”At the moment, he is carrying a bit of an injury he’s hahis resum‚, Clark also received honorable mention for Preseason All-American by the Sports Network this season.

Clark will play in The Football Network’s I-AA Classic on Dec. 30, 2003.

“It’s a great opportunity to show the rest of I-AA that Ivy League football isn’t just computer nerds trying to play football,” he said. “There are some real athletes.

In this week’s Sports Network/College Sports Television I-AA poll, Penn moved up one spot to eighth place, marking the highest ranking the Quakers or any Ivy League team has ever garnered in this poll. Penn also moved up two spots in the USA Today/ESPN poll to ninth.

Bagnoli does not place considerable weight on the I-AA rankings.

“It’s nice to be ranked so high, but it’s really hard to qualify I-AA teams,” he said. “When’s the last time you saw Montana play? Georgia Southern?

“I don’t take much stock in the rankings,” he added. “It’s not an exact science. I don’t look at it as, ‘We’re the eighth best team — we’re screwed, we should be seven!'”

But Mitchell takes the rankings quite seriously.

“We definitely pay attention to the polls,” he said. “It really reflects all of the hard work we’ve put in over the last two years. Only losing one game in two years, that’s pretty tough to do.

“It shows a lot about the team we have this year.”

The Quakers are one of just three undefeated squads in The Sports Network/CSTV Top 25.

Second-ranked Southern Illinois is 10-0. Colgate sits just above Penn with the No. 7 ranking at 8-0, having defeated the Ivy League’s Yale, Princeton, Cornell and Dartmouth.

M. Track eager to race again after long winter lull

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The Penn men’s track team will look to start off the new year right when it travels to Annapolis, Md., this weekend for a tri-meet with Navy and William and Mary. The Quakers hope it will be the first step toward another successful winter track campaign.

“It represents a kicking off of the indoor season,” senior Joe Plevelich said. “We’re looking to get cob webs out, get some good times in and get back into the mix of things.”

It certainly should be a step the Quakers are itching to take. The team has been idle since Dec. 7riday’s presser.Bruce has revealed he wanted to bring club doctorPaul Catterson to his Press conference on Friday to explain how the club have taken every step to safeguard their players and staff.He said: “I was actually going to bring the doctor in, when they turned in a strong effort at the Princeton Holiday Classic.

That meet, however, was more of a preseason exhibition. The Quakers got the chance to examine some of their young talent and give the veteran athletes a taste of competition. Saturday’s meet expects to be more serious.

“It’s definitely an important meet, but it’s not our ultimate focus,” Plevelich said. “It really is our first step toward the [Heptagonal] and NCAA Championships.”

The Quakers’ strengths this season lie in the running events. Seniors Matt Wedge and Chris Edmonds bring their wealth of experience to the sprints, while the middle distances will receive a big boost from newcomers Courtney Jaworski and Carson Schmiett. Both runners did not hesitate to make an impact at thger Chris Davies says they were pleased with their 3-1 Carabao Cup win over Burton Albion.Goals from Kelechi Iheanacho and Youri Tielemans saw City take a 2-0 lead inside the opening 20 minutes, but Burton halved the deficit early on in the second pee Holiday Classic as Jaworski, a sophomore transfer student from Georgetown, won the 100-meter, and Schmiett, a freshman, placed second in the 500-meter dash.

The addition of Jaworski and Schmiett should provide the Quakers with much-needee Matty Longstaff to a new contract.The younger of the Longstaff brothers is out of contract this summer at Newcastle United.And Shearer wants to ensure the Tyneside club is doing whatever is necessary to keep the midfielder at the club beyond this td depth at middle distance, something that is magnified in indoor track due to relays.

“In the past, we’ve had some real quality guys at the position, but not really the quantity,” Plevelich said. “This year, it seems we have both.”

The Quakers will need to score points in all events, however, if they expect to win on Saturday. William and Mary expects to have a solid core of distance runners, while Navy will be eager to defend its home turf. The Midshipmen also have the advantage of having already competed in a meet this January.

“For us, it is just a matter of going in, feeling it out, and going after it,” Plevelich said.

Phanatic, Iverson Penn's first choices for speaker

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(This article appeared in the 4/5/04 joke issue)The fact that Penn settled for a dirty hippie instead of a sports figrevealed they tried to complete a deal for Hakim Ziyech in January.The 26-year-old midfielder is set to join the Blues at the end of the season after the club agreed a £37million deal with Ajax.“We tried and it was not possible,” the Blues boss toure as its graduation speaker has left some students wondering how the University screwed this one up.

“We screwed this one up,” University President Judith Rodin sa attacker Nicolas Pepe admits he’s not met expectations.Pepe struck two late free-kicks, including one in stoppage time, to complete a 3-2 comeback against Portuguese side VitoriaGuimaraes.Yet despite his match-winning contribution, the 24-year-old aid on her failure to bring in a Philadelphia sports icon on two separate occasions. “Our first two choices didn’t exactly work out.”

Obviously, the first choice was the Phillie Phanatic — the large, green mascot who has been Drexel’s speaker for 14 years running.

“We really wanted the Phanatic,” Rodin said. “He exemplifies everything we would like in a graduation speaker: dedication to a cause and pride in the city. Plus, he transcends race and gender … you know, because he’s a Phanatic.”

While Rodin and her posse were hellbent on choosing the Phanatic, Penn Athletic Director Steve Bilsky disagreed.

“He doesn’t talk,” Bilsky said. “How can you have a speaker that doesn’t talk? That would be like fencing without a fence.”

Bilsky’s side gained the upper hand as talks with the Phanatic’s agent stalled.

“He’s too busy recovering from the trauma of the head-stealing scandal,” said Tony Attanasio, the Phanatic’s agent. “That’s a lot to handle when your nose and mouth are the same thing.”

With the deal dying a slow death, Attanasio agreed to send his client back north of Chestnut Street for a 15th straight year.

The Phanatic said nothing as usual, only shaking his oversized rear end in disgust at the prospect of entertaining Drexel “graduates” again.

After the Phanatic fiasco ended poorly, the University was quick to approach another candidate from the Philly sports scene.

Rodin was looking for a speaker with a positive attitude and a favorable view on race relations. Instead, she found basketball star Allen Iverson.

The administration quickly notified Iverson that no member of the Philadelphia Police Department would be present at the ceremony, nor would there be any mandatory practice for his speech.

With that being said, Iverson jumped on board, much to the delight of all parties on the University side.

Then, the unthinkable happened, after Iverson read the order of speeches for the graduation.

“They scheduled me to talk second,” Iverson said. “I don’t know any franchise player talk second. I don’t know Rangnick has opened the door to taking the technical director’s job at Manchester United.Rangnick was head coach and sporting director at RB Leipzig last year and is now head of sport and development at Red Bull, with responsibility for teams in Newany Olympian talk second. I don’t know any former MVP talk second. I don’t know any All-Star talk second. Why Allen Iverson talk second?”

Iverson immediately backed out of the gig to start sulking, leading to an outraged Rodin.

“Speak English, son,” Rodin said. “You don’t know any locker room cancer and detriment to his team who talks second.”

After the Phanatic’s dismissal and Iverson’s refusal, the University was left scrambling for a replacement. It found such a replacement in a second-rate washed up singer.

Oh, well. There’s always hope for next year. At least there better be, according to one irked junior.

“We better get somebody real in here next year,” junior Nameir Majette said. “Or else.”